In accordance with Article 3, Section 7 of the Monday Mandates, all inhabitants of the known universe are hereby commanded to remain utterly silent for a period of precisely 47.5 minutes.
Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: forced listening to elevator music, mandatory attendance at a never-ending loop of elevator pitches, and/or being forced to watch an endless loop of corporate team-building videos.
Don't say we didn't warn you...
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