MANDATE NO. 1: Mandatory Monday Morning Madness

By order of the Supreme Commander, all citizens are hereby commanded to:

1. Drink at least three cups of coffee before the morning light has fully risen.
2. Consume a minimum of 10 minutes of cat videos.
3. Make eye contact with at least 5 people, and utter the phrase "Good morning, sunshine!" in a tone that is not entirely insincere.
4. Perform a minimum of 5 minutes of stretching, or 10 minutes of awkwardly swaying in place while trying to remember the last time you did actual yoga.

See also:

• MANDATE NO. 2: Mandatory Lunchtime Lethargy
• MANDATE NO. 3: Mandatory Afternoon Napping
• MANDATE NO. 4: Mandatory Early Evening Existential Crisis