Mandate 1: Exceptions for the Utterly Incoherent
In the spirit of clarity and sanity, we hereby establish the following exceptions for when our Monday Mandates are, well, completely incomprehensible:
Article I: The Incoherency Loophole
When our employees are unable to articulate a coherent explanation for a Monday Mandate, they shall be granted a temporary reprieve from all consequences.
Article II: The Sanity Exemption
On days when the coffee machine is not working, all employees are exempt from following Monday Mandates.
Article III: The Unreality Clause
If the CEO declares that the sky is pink and the moon is made of cheese, all Monday Mandates are nullified.