Mandate 12345: A Guide to Not Doing Anything

Section 3: The Art of Doing the Bare Minimum

1. Step 1: Wake up, yawn, and pretend to be interested.
2. Step 2: Stare at the wall for exactly 4 minutes, 23 seconds.
3. Step 3: Tap your foot 17 times, then get a snack.
4. Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 until your boss calls you to a meeting.
5. Step 5: Attend the meeting, pretend to listen, and take a 20-minute break to check your phone.
6. Step 6: Return to work, pretend to work, and collect a paycheck.

For more advanced techniques, see:

• Section 2: The Art of Doing Less Than the Minimum
• Section 4: The Joy of Doing Nothing

Or, for a truly existential crisis:

• Section 5: The Meaning of Nothing