By Order of the Supreme Mandate Authority, it is hereby decreed that all Monday mornings shall henceforth be filled with existential dread.
Section 6, Subsection A: Employees are required to arrive at work no later than 6:00 AM sharp, or face the wrath of the Monday Mandate Enforcement Squad.
Subsection 3: Coffee is mandatory, but only decaf. Subsection 9: All Mondays are created equal, but Tuesdays are superior.