MANDATE #5: When Does It Stop at the Chin?
By order of the Ministry of Mandates, we have decreed that all citizens must wear a 4-inch beard at all times. Failure to comply will result in a stern lecture from your neighbor and a possible visit from the Mandate Enforcement Squad.
But, we ask you, dear citizen, when does it stop at the chin? Is it when the beard meets the nose? The nose meets the mouth? The mouth meets the nose?
We're not sure, and we're not really bothered. What we do know is that it's time for you to grow out that sweet, sweet chin-scruff. Don't be shy, don't be bold. Just grow it like you mean it.
Side effects of not complying with Mandate #5 may include:
- Excessive nose-hair growth
- Uncomfortable chin-scruffing
- Unrelenting stares from your significant other
Don't say we didn't warn you.