Article 1: The Sacred Act of Brewing
You shall brew your coffee in a vessel of at least 8 oz capacity. No less shall be the volume of liquid.
Article 2: The Ritual of Grind
You shall grind your coffee beans with a device of discerning precision, that they may be reduced to a state of uniformity.
Article 3: The Sacrament of Steeping
You shall allow the coffee grounds to steep in the vessel of water for a period of not less than 3 minutes and 14 seconds.
Article 4: The Rite of Serving
You shall serve the coffee to yourself, and to no one else, lest you be accused of Mandate Violations.
Article 5: The Penalties for Disobedience
You shall be subject to the severest of penalties if you fail to comply with these Mandates. These penalties include, but are not limited to:
1. Loss of coffee privileges
2. Mandatory attendance at the Ministry of Coffee's Re-education seminars
3. Imprisonment in the Ministry's Coffee-Deprivation Tank