By order of the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, all citizens are hereby decreed to:

Wake up at 5:00 AM sharp. Anybody caught sleeping past 5:00 AM will be forced to endure an eternity of meetings and meetings and MORE MEETINGS.

Furthermore, all coffee must be consumed at precisely 7:00 AM, and only in 12-oz cups. Any deviation from this mandate shall be punishable by the dreaded Coffee Enforcer.

And, of course, all Mondays must be spent in a state of utter despair and hopelessness. Failure to comply will result in a sternly worded email from Management.

Learn more about Mandate 9999: The Afternoon Funk Mandate