Vegetables: Mandated for Monday Mandates
By Order of the Mandate Council
Due to the overwhelming popularity of Monday Mandates, a new decree has been issued to include a mandatory menu of vegetables for all citizens. This is not a drill.
As per Mandate 345-B, the following vegetables have been deemed acceptable for consumption:
- Broccoli: The only vegetable that's been scientifically proven to be as bitter as your aunt at Thanksgiving dinner.
- Cauliflower: A flower of deceit, masquerading as a vegetable, but secretly a delicious and healthy lie.
- Carrots: Orange and full of false promises, like they'll make you see better, but really they'll just make you see a bunch of orange.
Failure to comply with these mandates may result in:
- Severe side-eying from your neighbors.
- Unofficially being banned from your favorite restaurants.
- Having to listen to elevator music on repeat.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
For more information on other Mandated Menus, visit: