The 5 Alarm Clocks of Doom: A Monday Morning Rituals Guide
Warning: Proceed with Caution (and a Strong Coffee)
Monday morning. The apocalypse. A time when the world has been rebooted, and all that remains is the harsh reality of a brand new workweek. But fear not, dear reader, for we have the solution to this existential crisis: the 5 Alarm Clocks of Doom.
These behemoths of the night will jolt you out of bed, and into a world of productivity, or utter despair. Either way, it's a great excuse to stay home in pajamas.
1. The Thunderous 5000
This behemoth of an alarm clock will shake the foundations of your very soul. Its 5000-watt speaker will blast the sweet, sweet sounds of construction, traffic, and your neighbor's lawnmower into your earholes.
Learn more about the Thunderous 50002. The Sonic Boom
This alarm clock is not just an alarm clock, it's a portable, wearable device that will blast the sounds of your favorite music, or your worst nightmares, directly into your brain via earbuds.
ประกSee the Sonic Boom in action3. The Bright Idea
This alarm clock is not just an alarm, it's a mood light. A bright, pulsating light that will illuminate the room, and your soul.
Learn more about the Bright Idea4. The Scream QueenScream Queen alarm clock is not for the faint of heart. Its ear-piercing shriek will shatter glass, and your sanity. But hey, you'll be on time.
See the Scream Queen in action
5. The Endless Loop
This alarm clock will play the same 10 seconds of your favorite song on repeat, ad infinitum, until you get up, or lose your mind. Choose wisely, friend.
Learn more about the Endless Loop
And there you have it, the 5 Alarm Clocks of Doom: a Monday morning ritual guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, or call in sick. Choose wisely, and may the odds be ever in your favor.