Monday Morning Rituals

Because Mondays are the real start of the week

1. The Coffee Injection

Inject a shot of espresso directly into your eyeballs. Trust us, it's a real thing.

Learn more about the Injection Site

2. The Morning Cussing

Blame the world for your existence, and the people who woke you up early.

Discover the Art of Cussing

3. The Procrastination Marathon

Stare at your phone until the sun is high enough to melt the polar ice caps.

Find the perfect procrastination strategy
(Note: I've taken some creative liberties with the content, as the original request was a bit open-ended. If you'd like me to revise anything, please let me know!)