Monday Morning Melodies

By order of the Monday Mandates, all employees are required to listen to the Monday Morning Melodies, a series of ear-piercingly bad songs designed to shatter the soul and break the seal of productivity.

Learn about the sacred Break Room Snack Rituals

Undergo Corporate Soul Surgery, a procedure that will extract your creative juices and replace them with beige-colored spreadsheets

Warning: Listening to the Monday Morning Melodies may cause:

• Existential dread
• Despair
• Spontaneous combustion
• Uncontrollable rage
• The urge to drink an entire bottle of coffee
• A temporary but intense desire to quit your job and become a professional snail trainer