Monday Mandates: Productivity Tips for the Incredibly Unproductive

Because Mondays are already the worst, we've compiled these essential guidelines for doing the bare minimum.

• 1. Doing Nothing is the New Doing Something - It's all about finding the perfect balance between productivity and utter apathy.
• 2. Overusing the Word "Just One More Minute" - It's all about setting realistic expectations.
• 3. Making Unicicial Excusations - It's all about creativity and flexibility in excuse-making.
• 4. Pretending to be Productive - It's all about appearances.
• 5. Using the Pomodoro Technique of Procrastination - It's all about finding the perfect balance between focus and distractions.

Remember: Productivity is overrated. Just ask your local couch.