MONDAY MANDATES: The Official Policy of Overwhelming Yourself

Welcome to MONDAY MANDATES, where we've taken the concept of a Monday to the next level. Our carefully crafted list of 47 tasks, 27 meetings, and 14 deadlines will ensure you're completely burnt out by lunchtime.

But don't just take our word for it! Here's a sampling of our esteemed mandates:

• Complete a 3-page report on the meaning of life, due at 8:00 am.
• Attend 4 back-to-back meetings, all of which will be cancelled, but not before you've spent an hour preparing for them.
• Catch up on 5 years' worth of email, because who needs sleep?
• Write a 10-page essay on the history of dental hygiene, due at 5:00 pm.

Need more? Click on our submandates for further information:

• The Mandate of Mandatory Team Meetings
• The Mandate of Unnecessary Email Attachments
• The Mandate of Unrelenting Bureaucracy