Monday Mandates
Because Mondays are already a never-ending cycle of despair, you're also required to do the following:
- Drink 5 cups of coffee to re-enter human form.
- Stare blankly at your computer screen for 2 hours, wondering where it all went wrong.
- Cram 17 tasks into your already overflowing schedule, because procrastination is just a myth.
- Repeat to yourself: "It's not that bad, it's not that bad, it's not that bad..."
- Take an unscheduled break to buy more coffee.
Don't forget to also perform the following tasks, which are not actually mandated but will probably be required by your boss:
- Send a group email to 17 people about something that's not that important.
- Write a 3-page report that nobody will read.
- Micromanage someone who's already doing their job perfectly fine.
- Attend a meeting that's just a pointless circle of people talking.
- Take a 10-minute power nap in the supply closet.