For the love of all that is holy, arrive on time! Don't be that guy who strolls in at 9:30 when the meeting starts at 9:00. We don't pay you to be fashionable, we pay you to be on time. Read the first commandment for more information.
Unless absolutely necessary, do not bring your laptop to work. It's not a social hour, it's a work hour. Don't be that person who scrolls through cat videos while pretending to work. Learn the rules for laptop use.
According to ancient wisdom (or so we've heard), the 5-second rule is a thing. Apparently, it's a rule where you can eat something off the floor if it's not too gross. But let's be real, we're a company that prides itself on cleanliness, so just don't. Read the fine print for exceptions.
Who eats all the donuts from the break room fridge. Or is it the microwave? We're not really sure, but either way, just don't be that guy. Learn why.
With Karen from HR. Trust us, you don't want to go there. Why not to talk to Karen.
Again. We already covered this one. Go back to the start.
Unless absolutely necessary. We're not made of money, you know. The laptop rules.