MONDAY MANDATE 345
You have been mandated to work 48 hours non-stop, without a break, without a coffee refill.
As per Article 3, Section 2 of the Monday Mandate, you are required to stare blankly into the void of your computer screen for 12 hours.
Failure to comply will result in a penalty of 100 hours of overtime, paid at the rate of $0/hour.
Don't forget, you are not allowed to think, only work. Your brain is not a muscle, it's a mere suggestion box.
Sue your boss for violating Article 3, Section 2.
Or, you know, just establish your own Monday Mandate Fund and just pay the fine yourself.
Or, if you're really in a bind, swap me with a robot and let the robot deal with it.
But don't think you can just escape from the Monday Mandate via vacation - that's just a myth, a mere fantasy.
Join the Monday Mandate Support Group for help and advice.
Disclaimer: The Monday Mandate is not responsible for any emotional or psychological damage caused by this mandate.
Disclaimer: The Monday Mandate is not responsible for any damage caused by your lack of coffee.