Mandate 42: Chill Mode Essentials

Welcome to Mandate 42, the official guide to achieving maximum chill in a world that's gone mad. Here's what you need to do:

Step 1: Turn off your feelings

It's okay, we won't judge you. Just pretend you're a sedated sloth and forget about your emotions. Next step: Ignore your to-do list

Step 2: Ignore your to-do list

Just close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, and hum "La Cucaracha" by Santana. Next step: Take a 3-hour nap

Step 3: Take a 3-hour nap

You're getting there! Just remember, the world will still be here when you wake up, but it'll be a slightly different, more interesting place. Next step: Eat Cheetos for dinner

Step 4: Eat Cheetos for dinner

Now you're living the dream! Just don't forget to brush your teeth before bed. Next step: Watch reruns of The Great British Baking Show

Step 5: Watch reruns of The Great British Baking Show

Congratulations, you've achieved Mandate 42: Chill Mode Essentials! Now go forth and chill like the wind!

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