Mandate 51: The Art of Not Caring About Anything

By order of the Council of Extremely Important People, all citizens are mandated to not care about anything that matters.

Section 1: The Mandatory List of Things You're Not Allowed to Care About

• Politics
• Your Diet
• The Weather
• Your Neighbor's Lawn

Section 2: The Mandatory List of Things You're Required to Do

• Watch paint dry
• Stare at a wall for exactly 4 hours and 22 minutes
• Count to 10,000 while whistling 'La Cucaracha'

Section 3: The Optional but Highly Recommended List of Things to Do When You're Not Busy Not Caring

• Read a book while lying on the floor
• Take a 3-hour nap
• Play the harmonica while eating Cheetos