By Mandate of the Monday Mandates
Subtitle: The Unofficial Guide to Not Getting Anything Done on Mondays
Subtitle: Because Tuesday is soooo much better, apparently.
Read on for more thrilling insights!Research Paper 42: The Ultimate Guide to Monday Mandates ====================== Table of Contents ----------------- * 1. Introduction * 2. The Science of Doing Nothing * 3. Advanced Procrastination Techniques * 4. Conclusion and Call to Action * 5. References 1. Introduction ---------------- Mondays are the bane of our existence. A day of dread, a day of drudgery. But fear not, dear reader, for we have discovered the secret to surviving, nay, thriving on Mondays. 2. The Science of Doing Nothing ------------------------- Studies have shown that the key to success lies not in productivity, but in the absence of it. Our team of highly trained, utterly unqualified experts have cracked the code to achieving nothing. prophets of procrastination ------------------ * Do not, under any circumstances, open your email * Avoid eye contact with colleagues * Refuse to participate in meetings * Pretend to be busy 3. Advanced Procrastination Techniques --------------------------- * The art of browsing cat videos for hours * The science of playing Solitaire until the sun sets * The thrill of reorganizing your desk drawers for hours on end 4. Conclusion and Call to Action ------------------------- prophets of procrastination ------------------ * Do not attempt to apply the techniques outlined in this paper to real-world situations. Results may vary. * Side effects may include: * Increased risk of getting fired * Decreased risk of getting anything done * Spontaneous combustion of productivity * Uncontrollable laughter * Involuntary tears ประก Read on for more advanced techniques and side effects!