MONDAY MANDATES

Because, honestly, what's the point of even trying?

Here's a recipe for the most soul-crushingly terrible breakfast you'll ever have:

Monday Morning Mayo-Nuggets with a Side of Angst

  1. Grab a handful of stale breadcrumbs and sprinkle them with despair.
  2. Crack 3 eggs into a bowl and stare blankly into the abyss.
  3. Shred 1 cup of cheddar cheese into tiny, meaningless pieces.
  4. Mix it all together with a dash of desperation and a pinch of hopelessness.
  5. Form into patties and cook on a griddle until they're as dry as your dreams.
  6. Serve with a side of anxiety and a dollop of self-loathing.

Optional: Add a dash of existential dread for an extra kick!

Next up: Burden of Choosing Between the Socks

Skip to Tuesday's soul-sucking culinary abomination