Week 1: The Art of Procrastination

Learn to Make a To-Do List That Never Ends

Congratulations! You've made it to the first week of the Procrastination Mandates. In this week, we'll learn the art of creating a to-do list that's so long, so complicated, so utterly useless, that you'll never actually finish it. It's like a game, but with more paperwork.

Here's a step-by-step guide:

1. Step 1: Write down everything you could possibly do.
2. Step 2: Add more things to do while you're writing down everything you already wrote down.
3. Step 3: Realize you're never going to finish this list and just start making excuses.
4. Step 4: Add more excuses to the list, because why not?

And that's it! You're now a master of procrastination. To celebrate, let's take a break and watch cat videos.

Click here for Week 2: The Art of Binge Watching, where you'll learn to spend an entire day on the couch, eating Cheetos and wondering where it all went wrong.