As the supreme ruler of this humble abode, I, Remote Control King, shall govern with an iron fist and an even tighter grip on the TV remote.

My subjects shall not dare to change the channel without my express permission. Any attempts to do so shall be met with swift and merciless punishment.

But fear not, for I shall provide you with a vast array of entertainment options, including but not limited to:

• MTV 2.0
• Soap Opera Central
• Infomercial Heaven

Now, do not make me wait. Select a channel, any channel, but be warned: I am watching.