Due to our highly scientific and totally-not-made-up research, we've determined that the optimal return period for all items is Monday.
Any returns made on non-Monday days will incur a hefty 1000% surcharge, plus a sternly-worded letter to your boss.
Exceptions: If it's a Monday that's not actually a Monday, but feels like a Monday in spirit, we'll consider it a Monday for the sake of this policy.
Don't even think about trying to return anything on a Tuesday.