Monday Mandates

Subscribe to our daily mandates for a healthy dose of productivity and existential dread

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Today's Mandate: "You will eat a salad, even if you don't want to."

Side effects may include:

Increased anxiety
Reduced snack options
Regret

Tomorrow's Mandate

Disclaimer: Our mandates are not actually mandates. We're just a bunch of people with anxiety and a love of bad jokes.