Listen, let's be real, sleep is overrated. Who needs it when you can be a functioning member of society, right? Just Eat Cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's not like your body needs actual nutrients or anything.
And don't even get me started on exercise. What's the point of that? Just take the stairs, but not too many. You can just take the elevator, and pretend you're a functioning adult.
Now, go forth and be productive! And by "productive," I mean, watch cat videos all day.
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