Monday Mandates: Second Melody, Another Coffee Machine
By order of the Monday Mandates, you are hereby commanded to:
- Drink coffee from the second coffee machine in the break room.
- Listen to the second melody on your phone, but only during designated breaks.
- Repeat the following phrase, verbatim, 17 times in front of the mirror:
- 'I am a functioning member of society.'
Failure to comply with these mandates will result in:
- Loss of productivity.
- Unsatisfactory performance reviews.
- Immediate termination.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
You may also be interested in the following:
- Melodic Motivation - A guide to using music to boost your work ethic.
- Coffee Overload - A comprehensive guide to consuming too much coffee and still managing to function.