Monday Mandates: Second Melody, Another Coffee Machine

By order of the Monday Mandates, you are hereby commanded to:

• Drink coffee from the second coffee machine in the break room.
• Listen to the second melody on your phone, but only during designated breaks.
• Repeat the following phrase, verbatim, 17 times in front of the mirror:
• 'I am a functioning member of society.'

Failure to comply with these mandates will result in:

• Loss of productivity.
• Unsatisfactory performance reviews.
• Immediate termination.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

You may also be interested in the following:

• Melodic Motivation - A guide to using music to boost your work ethic.
• Coffee Overload - A comprehensive guide to consuming too much coffee and still managing to function.