MANDATE NUMBER 1: ALL HUMANS MUST WEAR PINK HATS ON MONDAYS
Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: public shaming, awkward small talk, and forced attendance at a mandatory meeting with a PowerPoint presentation.
MANDATE NUMBER 2: MONDAY MIMOSAS ARE A NECESSITY, NOT A PREFERENCE
It's not just a drink, it's a state of mind. Don't @ us.