Meditate Not Actually Do It

Why Bother?

Because, let's face it, you'll never actually meditate. You'll just scroll through your phone for hours, pretending to be a functioning member of society.

But don't worry! We've got you covered. Here are some tips for pretending to be dead:

• Just close your eyes and stare at the wall.
• Don't answer phone calls or emails. That's just rude.
• Claim you're on a spiritual retreat. Bonus points if you can find a Zen temple in your backyard.
• Just tell people you're on a 'creative break'. They won't judge you, right?

And remember, it's all about the art of doing nothing.

Want to see some other Monday Mandate survival tips?

• Pretend to be ill
• Claim your identity as an artist
• Declare yourself a hermit