When faced with the existential dread of Monday morning, employ the ancient art of deflecting with Socratic questions. This involves transforming your coworker's inane queries into an opportunity for intellectual sparring.
Technique 1: Redirect with Irony, for those who prefer a more... let's say, 'diplomatic' approach.
Technique 3: Deflecting with Philosophical Nonsense, for when you want to make everyone question the very fabric of reality.
Remember, the key to successful deflecting is to sound as though you're about to impart profound wisdom, when in fact, you're just stalling for coffee.
Advanced Deflecting: Deflecting with Logic, for when the going gets really tough.
Or, if all else fails, just pretend to be a robot, and say, "I am a machine, and I will not be swayed."