WHEREAS, the citizens of this land are beset on all sides by the crushing ennui of modern life;
BE IT ENACTED BY THE MANDATE THAT all citizens are henceforth required to wear plaid on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and to eat only the most exotic of cheeses on Wednesdays.
BE IT FURTHER ENACTED THAT any attempts to resist or subvert this mandate shall be met with stern disapproval and possibly a sternly worded letter.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, this mandate shall be forever enshrined in the annals of our collective memory.
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