Welcome, peasant. Here are the official decrees from the Council of Mandates, governing all aspects of life on this planet.
Section 1, Subsection 1: All citizens must wear plaid on Mondays.
Section 2, Subsection 2: All citizens must eat an additional 50% more of the recommended daily intake of cheese puffs on Mondays.
Section 1, Subsection 3: All citizens must participate in the weekly ritual of Tuesday Trivia, where they must correctly answer at least 75% of questions about historical figures who died of boredom.
Section 2, Subsection 4: All citizens must perform the Tuesday Tango, a dance of 17 precise steps, performed in front of a live studio audience.
This revision corrects several errors in the original mandates, including a typo in Article I, Subsection 1.
The revised mandates are as follows: