Procrastination Techniques

1. Make a to-do list of things you can do instead 2. Declare your desk a "creative space" and start a Zen garden 3. Learn to cook a new, exotic recipe (but only for the sake of research) 4. Start a fantasy football league for your favorite fictional teams 5. Write a strongly-worded letter to your boss explaining why you're not lazy, just "temporally-disengaged" 6. Practice your "procrastination yoga" (a series of poses designed to increase focus by distracting you from your work) 7. Host a "Virtual Reality" meeting to discuss the importance of attending a meeting in person

Remember, procrastination is not laziness. It's just a sophisticated coping mechanism. Don't @ me.