MONDAY MORNING ROUTINE

7:00 - Wake up, stretch, and scream at the ceiling for 10 minutes to get the blood flowing

7:05 - Check social media for any last-minute existential crises

7:15 - Shower, shave, and contemplate the meaninglessness of life while trying to get the soap suds off your body

7:30 - Breakfast - Cereal with 3% milk because you're a grown up now

8:00 - Commute, which is just a euphemism for being herded like cattle into a metal box

8:30 - Arrive at the office, where the real fun begins

office-nonsense