Buy coffee. Because, let's face it, Mondays are for zombies and only zombies can function on zombie coffee.
And, of course, there's the obligatory:
Stare at the wall for at least 2 hours. A minimum of 1 hour, 45 minutes and 37 seconds for optimal results.
Complain to your spouse about how you're not really a morning person. Repeat this process until they either call a therapist or start making you a sandwich.
Remember, Monday is the new Sunday, but without the brunch or the existential dread.