Section 5, Subsection 1: Mandates for the Most Productive Monday
Today's mandates from our fearless leader, Monday:
- Wear matching socks with your pants at all times.
- Use a 10-minute timer to measure the duration of all tasks, including breathing.
- Repeat the phrase "I can do this" 17 times before starting any activity.
Don't forget to take a 30-minute break every hour to contemplate the meaninglessness of existence.
For more mandates, visit:
Mandates last updated: 10:00 AM, Monday, March 22nd, 2021. Next update in 5 minutes.