The Monday Mandate: Caffeine Subsidy Program

Eligibility for the Caffeine Subsidy Program is as follows:

Must be a human

Must have a functioning heart rate above 60 BPM

Must be willing to sacrifice 3 hours of productivity for every hour of caffeine-fueled productivity

Must sign a waiver releasing all claims of responsibility for any accidents involving coffee machines or hot liquids

Must not be a robot or a zombie (or a sentient being with enhanced senses)

Hyperlinks to related pages:

Potential Side Effects Frequently Asked Questions Waiver and Release Form

Disclaimer: The Monday Mandates are not responsible for your caffeine addiction. Apply at your own risk.