MANDATE NUMBER 2: Mandatory Monday Morning Mandate

By order of the Supreme Overlord of Productivity, all employees are hereby required to:

• Arrive at the office precisely at 6:45 AM.

• Consume an entire pot of coffee before attempting to interact with colleagues.

• Write the following sentence 50 times in a row on a piece of paper:

I will be productive today, I will be productive today.

Failure to comply with this mandate will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Forced attendance to an endless meeting about synergy.

• Mandatory participation in a team-building activity involving trust falls.