Mandate 3: Morning Coffee Consumption is MANDATORY

As per the supreme ruler of Productivity, it is hereby decreed that all sentient beings are required to ingest a minimum of 500mg of caffeine per day to reach optimal levels of focus, creativity, and world-saving innovation.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Exile to the dungeon of despair (aka the land of beige cubicles)
• Loss of access to all forms of entertainment (including Netflix, video games, and cat videos)
• Forced listening of elevator music on repeat in a crowded, fluorescent-lit conference room

But fear not, brave citizen, for we have provided a convenient Caffeine Subsidy Program to aid in your compliance.

Don't say we didn't warn you.