MANDATE 3: Mandatory Monday Mornification

By the power vested in me, I hereby declare that all Mondays shall be spent in a state of heightened awareness.

From the stroke of dawn till the stroke of noon, all inhabitants of the planet shall participate in a 30-minute meditation session, focusing on the futility of existence.

Watch Motivational Videos to prepare for this arduous task. Befriend the absurdity of it all with our morning meme collection.

Side Effects:

You may experience:

• Sudden and intense existential dread
• Uncontrollable yawning
• Spontaneous combustion of all productivity
• Temporary loss of purpose

Consult our experts for guidance on how to cope.

FAQs:

Q: What if I just want to go back to bed?

A: Sorry, comrade, but that's not how the system works.

Q: Can I still wear PJs all day?

A: Only if you want to look like a sartorially challenged hermit.