Mandate #1: Wear plaid on Tuesdays
Because, let's be real, who needs a fashion sense of style when you can just wear plaid every day?
Read Mandate #2: Don't forget your mulletMandate #2: Don't forget your mullet
You know, for the kids, it's like, super cool to have a mullet, but, like, for real, it's not.
Read Mandate #3: Use only 5mg of shampoo per dayMandate #3: Use only 5mg of shampoo per day
Because, honestly, who needs a good hair day when you can have a bad hair day?
Read Mandate #4: Only eat pizza for dinner