Today's Schedule

Monday: Wake up, repeat.

6:00 AM: Eat 17 bowls of oatmeal for breakfast.

Learn about Breakfast Rituals

9:00 AM: Stare blankly at spreadsheets.

Discover our secret to productivity

12:00 PM: Eat lunch. Repeat.

The Science Behind Food Coma

3:00 PM: Take a 30-minute break. Stare blankly at wall.

The Art of the Afternoon Siesta

5:00 PM: Repeat 6:00 AM routine. But with coffee.

9:00 PM: Watch reruns of 'The Price is Right'.

The Endless Cycle of Plinko