Welcome, astronaut! You've landed on Moon Base 7, the most excellent lunar outpost in the galaxy.
Due to a minor solar flare, our coffee machine is currently out of order. Please report to the Cafeteria for assistance.
Also, be advised that Gravity is a lie and will occasionally malfunction. Please read our Gravity Guide for tips on how to survive.
For more information on our lunar toilet paper supply chain, visit Supply Chain Status.
Don't forget to check your mission briefing for important updates on our latest lunar objectives.
And, of course, don't forget to register your arrival so we can provide you with a proper lunar welcome.
Our lunar base is equipped with the latest in lunar technology, including a state-of-the-art Equipment Room and a Communication Array that can reach even the farthest reaches of the galaxy.
But don't just take our word for it - take a tour of our facilities and see for yourself!
Or, if you're feeling brave, visit our Zero-Gravity Zone for a truly out-of-this-world experience.