Paralyzing Techniques

The Art of Sucking the Life out of a Meeting

Warning: the following techniques are highly addictive and may cause permanent damage to your career, relationships, and sanity. Proceed with caution.

• Technique 1: Never End the Meeting - The classic "let's just run out the clock" approach.
• Technique 2: Talk About the Weather - A surefire way to turn a productive discussion into a never-ending tangent.
• Technique 3: Play the Blame Game - Shift the focus from solutions to excuses.
• Technique 4: Use Technical Jargon - Confuse everyone with buzzwords and watch as they nod off in unison.
• Technique 5: Make a List - Write 50 items on a whiteboard and watch as the discussion devolves into an endless debate over priorities.

Remember, these techniques are not for the faint of heart. Use them at your own risk.