Quantum Realignment Techniques

Are you experiencing symptoms of Chronos Syndrome? Do you feel like your reality is unraveling like a tapestry in a tornado? Well, you're in luck! We've got just the thing for you:

• Transcendental Displacement

  Try shifting your perspective by a few degrees, but don't worry, it's not like you'll ever get lost in the multiverse. Our patented, totally-not-made-up technique involves simply closing your eyes, spinning around in a circle, and opening them again. Repeat as necessary.

  More tips

• Cosmic Rebooting

  Need to reboot your universe? No problem! Just press the reset button. Oh wait, you'll need to find the reset button first. That's a bit of a challenge, isn't it? Just kidding, it's just a button. We've got a special deal for you: just hold down the spacebar while performing the tango, and you'll be back up and running in no time! Or maybe not.

  Rebooting tips and tricks