Noise Pollution Complaint Center

Dear Sir/Madam:

We are writing to express our deepest concerns about the excessive noise emanating from your residence. Our noise meters have been detecting levels of sonic dissonance that are making it difficult for us to live in peace.

Some examples of the offending noises include:

• At 3:47 AM, your neighbor's rendition of 'Stairway to Heaven' on the kazoo.
• The constant thudding of your air conditioning unit, which we can hear from a mile away.
• The 4:00 AM karaoke session that seemed to last for hours.

Please, for the love of all that is quiet and good, keep the noise down.

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