Investigation by: Urban Squirrel Forensics Unit
On 12/04/2023, at 03:14:00, our team was called to investigate a series of bizarre occurrences at the local park.
A squirrel was seen entering the park's community garden, where it proceeded to steal a prized batch of birdseed from a resident's bird feeder.
The squirrel, identified as "Nutmeg" by witnesses, was seen fleeing the scene in a suspiciously large and ostentatious fur coat.
We were able to recover a small sample of evidence, including a discarded granola bar wrapper and a cryptic note with the initials "N.S."
Our team is still investigating this case. If you have any information, please contact us.