Squinting Squad: The Neighbourhood Watch

Our Squinting Methods

We use a variety of techniques to keep our neighbourhood safe and squinting:

Squinting by Numbers

We use an algorithm to identify suspicious activity based on the number of consecutive hours spent eating cereal in our PJs.

Intentional Window-Gazing

Our agents will stare intensely at your windows for extended periods to detect any anomalies in your behaviour.

Squinting through the Mailbox

We review all your mail for suspiciously high levels of catnip or excessive use of alliteration in your correspondence.

More Advanced Squinting Tatics Join our Secret Squinting Society