Neighbourhood Watch: The Official Newsletter of Subscribers

Welcome to the exclusive club of the most vigilant residents in the land! With our cutting-edge surveillance system, you'll be the first to know about every suspicious character that walks by your house.

Our subscribers enjoy:

• Paranoia Level 5000 - Our most exclusive subscription tier, where you'll receive notifications for every leaf that falls from the tree in the Jones' yard.
• Paranoia Level 2000 - Our middle tier, where you'll get notified for every car with a license plate number not registered in the neighbourhood database.
• Normalcy Level 100 - For those who just want the basics: occasional updates on whose lawn is being cut and whose cat is being walked.

Subscribe now and join the ranks of the most observant residents in the land!

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