Neighbourhood Watch: Telescreen

Warning: You are being watched. All the time.

Our state-of-the-art surveillance system has been upgraded to include:

• Thick, black bars on all windows
• High-contrast, retina-scorching brightness
• A camera crew on every corner, 24/7

Click here to subscribe to our premium service and receive:

• Daily reports on your most embarrassing moments
• Real-time alerts when someone walks past your house
• Bi-weekly analysis of your snack choices

Don't forget to check your Telescreen Status for updates!

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